Practical Advice for Navigating Back-to-School Stress

It still feels like summer, but most North Texas students and educators have gone back to school. Families everywhere might feel the familiar mix of excitement and anxiety. For students, educators, and caregivers alike, the transition back to school can be a time of both anticipation and stress. Recognizing the importance of supporting mental health during this period, the DFW Cyber Lions Club recently invited Kim Lovelace, a counselor from Children First Counseling Center, to share her expertise on managing back-to-school stress. Her presentation, followed by a lively Q&A session, offered practical advice, heartfelt stories, and actionable strategies for families and community members. In this blog post, we’ll explore the key points from Kim’s presentation, highlight the thoughtful questions posed by club members, and provide a comprehensive guide for anyone looking to ease the back-to-school transition for the children and families in their lives.

Understanding Back-to-School Anxiety

Kim began her presentation by acknowledging a universal truth: even the most outgoing, enthusiastic students can feel anxious about returning to school. The start of a new academic year brings changes—new teachers, new classmates, unfamiliar routines, and sometimes new schools altogether. For parents and caregivers, these changes can also trigger worries about safety, academic performance, and social dynamics. Kim emphasized that anxiety and excitement often go hand in hand. “It’s okay to be nervous and excited at the same time,” she explained. “We can have both those really big emotions at once.” By normalizing these feelings, adults can help children understand that their emotions are valid and manageable.

Kim encouraged parents to look for signs of anxiety in their children, which may include:

• Trouble sleeping or changes in appetite

• Irritability or mood swings

• Reluctance to talk about school

• Physical complaints like headaches or stomachaches

• Avoidance behaviors, such as refusing to attend school or participate in activities

Recognizing these signs early allows adults to intervene with empathy and support.

Strategies for Managing Back-to-School Stress

Kim’s presentation was rich with practical strategies for both children and adults. Here are some of the key takeaways:

1. Normalize and Name the Feelings

One of the most effective ways to help children manage anxiety is to talk about it openly. Kim suggested that parents and caregivers create a safe space for children to express their worries. “If you name it and start talking about the worry, it’ll help diminish it so that it’s not as stressful for them,” she said. Encourage children to share what they’re feeling, and validate those emotions. Phrases like “It’s normal to feel nervous about meeting a new teacher” or “I remember feeling anxious before the first day of school, too” can go a long way in making children feel understood.

2. Teach Grounding Techniques

When anxiety spirals, it can be difficult for children (and adults) to regain control. Kim recommended grounding techniques to help bring anxious minds back to the present moment. One simple method is the “stay where your hands are” approach:

• Ask the child to describe what they see in the room.

• Encourage them to take slow, deep breaths.

• Have them focus on physical sensations, such as feeling their feet on the ground or their hands on their lap.

These techniques can help interrupt anxious thought patterns and provide a sense of calm.

3. Focus on Effort and Progress, Not Perfection

Academic and extracurricular pressures can contribute significantly to back-to-school stress. Kim noted that many children worry about high-stakes testing, making the “A team,” or living up to expectations. She advised parents to shift the focus from outcomes to effort and progress. “Talk to your kids about what they’ve accomplished so far,” Kim suggested. “Remind them of challenges they overcame last year and celebrate their growth.” This approach builds resilience and self-confidence, helping children see setbacks as opportunities for learning rather than failures.

4. Share Your Own Stories

Vulnerability can be a powerful tool for connection. Kim encouraged adults to share their own experiences of feeling left out, anxious, or uncertain during their school years. “I have yet to meet someone who lived through middle school without getting singled out or picked on,” she joked, prompting knowing laughter from the audience. By sharing personal stories, adults can help children feel less alone in their struggles and model healthy ways to cope with adversity.

5. Prioritize Rest and Brain Breaks

In the rush to prepare for school, it’s easy to overlook the importance of downtime. Kim reminded parents that children need opportunities to rest and recharge—not just hours spent on screens, but genuine breaks from academic and social pressures. Encourage activities like reading for pleasure, drawing, playing outside, or simply relaxing as a family.

6. Address Social Anxiety and Friendship Challenges

Social dynamics are a major source of stress for many students. Kim referenced a story by researcher Brené Brown about “marble jar friends”—the idea that true friends are those who consistently show up and support us. Trust is built gradually through many small, consistent acts of kindness and reliability—like adding marbles to a jar—until the jar becomes full. Kim encouraged parents to help children identify their own “marble jar friends” and to understand that it’s normal to feel left out or uncertain at times. “School can be a social minefield for everybody,” Kim acknowledged. “Give your kids the space they need to decompress and have those hard conversations.”

When to Seek Additional Help

While most back-to-school anxiety is temporary and manageable, Kim stressed the importance of recognizing when professional help may be needed. If a child’s anxiety persists for more than a couple of weeks and begins to interfere with their ability to function at school or at home, it may be time to seek outside support. Warning signs include:

• Persistent avoidance of school or activities

• Expressions of hopelessness or extreme self-criticism (“Everybody hates me”)

• Withdrawal from friends and family

• Significant changes in mood or behavior

Kim recommended reaching out to teachers, school counselors, or mental health professionals for guidance. “Counseling is not necessarily a one-stop shop, but it can help,” she said. “We all benefit from having someone to talk to.”

Q&A: Community Voices and Real-Life Scenarios

After Kim’s presentation, members of the DFW Cyber Lions Club engaged in a thoughtful Q&A session, sharing their own experiences and seeking advice for specific situations.

Listening to Other Children

One Lion, a retired school counselor, shared a poignant story about how her son’s friends alerted her to his struggles in high school. “My son’s friends talked to me so that I could help my son, who I didn’t see needed help,” she recalled. “It’s important to listen to the other kids—they see things we might miss.” Kim agreed, emphasizing the value of community and peer support. Sometimes, children are more comfortable confiding in a trusted adult who isn’t their parent. Encouraging open communication within families and communities can help ensure that no child falls through the cracks.

Staying Involved as a Parent

Another club member described her proactive approach to staying connected with her children’s school lives. “I go to every occasion at the school to check with the teachers and see what they say about my kids,” she said. “That way, I can help my kids succeed.” Kim applauded this involvement, noting that strong parent-teacher relationships can provide valuable insights and support for students.

Supporting College Students

Another Lion asked Kim for advice on supporting college-aged children, who may be living away from home for the first time. Kim introduced the concept of being a “houseplant parent”—someone who is present, provides nourishment, and holds space without hovering. “Sometimes, just being there—watching TV in the same room, sending a quick text, or checking in regularly—lets your college student know you’re available if they need you,” Kim explained. She also acknowledged the challenge of maintaining communication, joking about the persistence sometimes required to get a response from young adults.

Self-Care for Parents and Caregivers

Throughout her presentation, Kim repeatedly reminded the audience that self-care is not just for children—it’s essential for adults, too. The start of the school year can be overwhelming for parents juggling work, extracurricular activities, and family responsibilities. “Remember to do self-care for yourself as well,” Kim urged. “Trying to figure out when you’re taking kids where and what activities they have can be a daunting task.” Self-care doesn’t have to be elaborate. Even small acts—taking a walk, reading a book, connecting with friends, or simply taking a few deep breaths—can make a difference.

Building a Supportive Community

One of the most powerful themes to emerge from Kim’s presentation and the subsequent discussion was the importance of community. Whether it’s parents supporting each other, children looking out for their friends, or organizations like the DFW Cyber Lions Club and Children First Counseling Center providing resources and encouragement, collective effort makes a difference. Kim’s advice was clear: “We’re all in this together. By supporting each other, sharing our stories, and reaching out when we need help, we can make the back-to-school transition smoother for everyone.”

Key Takeaways

1. Normalize Anxiety: Let children know it’s okay to feel nervous or excited about going back to school.

2. Open Communication: Encourage children to talk about their feelings and listen without judgment.

3. Grounding Techniques: Teach strategies to manage anxiety, such as deep breathing and focusing on the present.

4. Celebrate Progress: Focus on effort and growth rather than perfection.

5. Share Experiences: Be vulnerable and share your own stories of overcoming challenges.

6. Prioritize Rest: Ensure children have time to relax and recharge.

7. Support Social Development: Help children identify true friends and navigate social challenges.

8. Know When to Seek Help: Reach out to professionals if anxiety persists